I work with tons of driven women who are so busy building their lives and empires that love often falls to the backburner.
They want to find their man but, the thought of dating just seems like a waste of time they don’t even have.
So, I’m going to share my top 3 tips to date smarter, save time, and maximize your results.
Here’s tip #1 to fit dating into a busy life and it’s a mindset shift.
The biggest thing that’s going to allow you to have time to date and therefore find your man is if you actually WANT TO.
And, as a driven woman, I know you like to see RESULTS.
Which is why you push dating to the backburner because you don’t clearly see a return on investment since your time dating has not yet led to the desired return of your dream man yet.
The key here is a mindset shift that every date and experience IS helping you get to your man, not evidence that you can’t.
I call this dating for growth, not for outcome.
When you date for outcome, the only way to “win” is if the outcome of that date is he is your dream man.
And since this doesn’t happen 99% of the time with dating, if you date for outcome, you are left feeling like a failure.
No one wants to give their time to something that they think will lead to failure, especially busy women.
BUT, if you choose the mindset that you being with your dream man is a GIVEN, meaning, you choose to feel CERTAIN that great love is meant for you which means it WILL happen, then there doesn’t have to be a ton of pressure on each date to be the one.
This means you actually can relax, which automatically makes dating feel so much more fun instead of a time sucking drain.
When you date for growth, you choose to actively look for how each date and interaction with a man is bringing you forward towards your man.
When you feel that each date is growing you forward toward your man, you will clearly see the return on investment of dating –
Which will automatically make you WANT to do it.
The truth is, it’s not that you haven’t had time to date,
It’s that you haven’t wanted to.
Dating for growth, not outcome, makes you want to date because you see the clear link between dating and results AND it actually makes dating fun.
Here’s tip number two to balance dating with other priorities
Create mental discipline.
A lot of busy driven women hate the fact that as soon as they start dating someone and or liking them, it can feel like all of their focus goes out the window.
Instead of being on their A game at work, women find themselves distracted by worrying if the guy is going to call or freaking out and becoming insecure.
Really, what’s happening is most busy women find it easier to put their energy and attention into work or their house or even their kids because they feel like THERE they can actually win.
Whereas love can feel like a battle and bring up uncomfortable feelings like disappointment or rejection.
Really, I don’t have time to date is code for,
“I’m afraid of the emotions that dating will bring up and I don’t know how to handle them so I’m just going to stick with I’m too busy to date because that’s an acceptable excuse.”
The key out of this trap is to apply the very same mental focus you use to be successful in other areas to love.
Focus and prioritization.
Set designated times you will think about or devote time to love in your calendar and be disciplined that you’re going to stick to your schedule.
For example, you might devote a half hour in the morning to inner work to find love, manifesting exercises or swiping on a dating app, and then decide you have another half hour at the end of the day to check messages or 2 hours if you have a date.
But then, let’s say the next day your mind is analyzing the date or wondering if he’s going to call and it’s hard to focus at work.
You’d have to use your mental discipline to say to yourself, “NO, it’s not time to focus on love now. I have a spot in my calendar for that at 7pm tonight so we’ll think about it then.”
As long as your mind knows that you will devote some attention to the problem or fear or excitement that’s coming up, it will calm down and you can focus on your other priorities.
The bottom line is, you’ve got to be as mentally fierce in your love life as you are in other areas and not let the crazy fear mind run amok because it’s 90% the mental conversation you’re having about dating that’s making you tired and feel like you don’t have time.
Here’s tip #3 to fit dating into a busy life
Pre-screen men on the phone before you go on a date with them.
Whether you’ve met a guy online or out in the world, pre-screening is a great idea if you’re looking to save time.
You can simply say just from meeting you briefly online or insert wherever you met,
“I’m excited to get to know you more and, I’m feeling like it would be great just to chat briefly on the phone before we meet so we can both get a sense of each other’s energy…what do you think?”
Then, get on the phone and don’t analyze in your mind, just be present.
Notice how you feel in your body when talking to him.
Do you feel open, excited and like a yes? Go on the date.
If you feel contracted, get a bad vibe or just feel intuitively off, don’t go on the date.
You can send him a message later saying, “Thanks so much for jumping on the phone with me. I’m a woman who always follows her gut, no matter what, and I checked within and don’t feel that we’re a match long-term, so I think it’s best not to go on that date. I hope you can understand and I’m wishing you all the best.”
And, here’s another tip. Don’t spend hours and hours on the phone with a guy before even going on a date or become text buddies with him.
Get on a date as quick as possible because that’s the real way you’ll be able to tell if that guy has potential.
You can simply say to a guy who’s being slow to meet up, “I’ve had such a great time connecting with you so far and, I’m really only looking to date people who are available to meet up in person, not just connect via text. If that’s you, I’d love to see you soon…you have my number ‘winky face’, and if not, I understand.”
To recap – pre-screen, get on dates quickly, focus on love only at specific times during your day and date for growth, not outcome so you clearly see the return on investment of dating.
All of these tips will get you to your dream man quicker.
And…if you’d really like to speed up your results, and get your ideal man to come to you faster, click on the link below to grab my Flirting 101 guide where I show you super quick and easy ways to get quality men in the real world to come up to you and ask you out.
The tips in this guide show you how to make men do the leg work to ask you out first.
Download your Flirting 101 Guidebook here.
Nicole Moore
Nicole Moore is a love coach who helps, powerful, influential women find their ideal partner. Using her signature Love Works Method, she’s helped thousands of women find lasting love fast.
Nicole started her company while she was in a relationship she thought would lead to marriage. Instead it resulted in emotional abuse and her boyfriend cheating on her. Suddenly single as a life coach, Nicole had to start following her own advice and take every tip she’d ever taught a client – and it worked. She found her dream man exactly one year after following her program and is now happily married with a beautiful son living in Encinitas, CA.
Nicole has three life coaching certifications, including certification from New York University. She’s been featured in Money Magazine, Forbes, and Greatist.com.
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