Ok I know you probably HATE online dating or have had some horrible experiences online already, OR you just avoid it altogether because you’d rather meet someone in real life.
BUT….the truth is, online dating is one of the best ways right now to meet an amazing, commitment ready man.
How do I know? Well, I met my amazing husband Mike on Tinder, and I’ve had so many clients find their dream man online.
The key lies in 3 simple mindset shifts that will take you from hating online dating, to loving it and maybe even finding the one.
Mindset shift #1 to love online dating
You’re not a loser for being online, you’re an EFFECTIVE SHOPPER.
So many women, to this day, tell me that they feel ashamed or embarrassed for even being on an online dating app.
But, the thing is, it’s really hard to find an amazing top 1% man online when you feel like a loser for being there, and think every guy on there is a loser too.
Here’s the real truth –
We live in an online world these days and the internet is designed to make things quicker, more effective and easier for us.
You probably use Amazon Prime because it’s just way more effective than going to a zillion stores to find what you want.
Why do that when with one place online, you can efficiently get everything you need?
You might even do what I do, and get your groceries delivered via a service like Instacart so you don’t have to spend time going to the grocery store.
Now, when you use Amazon Prime, Instacart, or maybe even GOOGLE to just find what you are looking for WAY MORE EFFICIENTLY online, do you sit there telling yourself that you’re a loser?
IF you needed to do some research, would you sit there and tell yourself you better find the answers you’re looking for at the library in real life because only losers use GOOGLE????
NO…you would say that’s ridiculous.
So stop being ridiculous about online dating and just get that it’s one of the most efficient ways EVER CREATED to match with potential suitors and your husband.
Mindset shift #2 to love online dating
It’s not so hard and difficult and like wading through a cesspool of crap to find the gold… online dating is actually EASY.
Think about it –
What feels easier to you on a Friday night after a long work week?
Doing your hair and makeup, having to pick a cute outfit, having to wrangle some girlfriends together to go out to a BAR where you’re getting beer spilled on your purse by a drunk guy, and hoping that maybe just maybe there’s one decent guy in the whole place?
Or, sitting home on a friday night in your sweatpants with no makeup on and a messy bun watching netflix and digging out a piece of popcorn that feel into your bra while taking ONE SECOND of effort to swipe right on a guy that could end up being your HUSBAND?
So stop being ridiculous about online dating and just appreciate it for what it is –
A place where your killer online dating profile does all the talking and work for you
So you can be a lazy biotch and STILL find your husband.
Here’s the #3 mindset shift to love online dating
Online dating is NOT a place where only creeps, catfishers and men who just want sex hangout.
It’s where busy, successful, amazing, relationship ready men hangout.
Think about it.
The kind of man that you REALLY want, who’s a great guy, who IS looking for a relationship.
Where do you think he’d go to meet someone?
Yeah, he might go out every now and again. He might be set up by friends. He might meet people at work.
But the bottom line is ALMOST EVERYONE who is single has tried online dating at some point, which means yes, even the most handsome successful and amazing guys have most likely dipped their toes into the online waters even if it’s solely because of efficiency like I mentioned earlier.
Now, I get it. If you’re a woman who’s online dated even just a little bit,
I know you’ve probably had more than your fair share of guys just wanting to hook up.
Weird creepy guys messaging you and men who seemed to have the perfect profile but just never messaged you back.
BUT…and here’s the big BUT,
I want you to stop seeing online dating as a place to find the ONE
And start seeing it as FEEDBACK.
Now, I know I just told you you can find your husband online so here’s what I mean by that.
I FIRMLY believe because I’ve seen it happen with hundreds of clients now, that what you FIRST get when you go online is not THE WAY IT IS and will always be.
It’s just a reflection of what you’ve previously been thinking and believing about men.
Think men just want sex? Well, that’s the kind of men you’ll find online.
Think men are just going to hurt you? Well, you’ll be way more likely to attract the creeps.
So, if you look at online dating as feedback, you can then ask yourself
What results am I currently getting online?
What beliefs or emotions must I be holding onto to attract these kinds of results? A
And, the most important question is what do I need to shift within me to attract something and someone different.
I can tell you that when i was online dating
I was SO FIRM in making sure my belief system, feelings and energy were rock solid and creating what I DID want, which was my man.
I told myself over and over again
I AM THE WOMAN WHO ONLY ATTRACTS AMAZING, COMMITMENT READY MEN ONLINE
Now, did I get the random guy who just wanted a hookup every now and then?
But I’ll tell you, my experience online as a whole was waaaayyyyyyy better than 99% of women because I didn’t put the pressure on online dating to find the one.
I used the feedback I was getting via the men I was attracting online to shift ME, my mindset, heart and emotions to become the woman who was a match for the kind of man I wanted
AND I just so happened to meet him on Tinder
SOOOO stop being ridiculous about online dating.
Stop expecting to find the love of your life on there when your mindset about men and dating is crappy or when your heart is terrified of being hurt again
And just use what you’re currently getting online as feedback to point you to what needs to shift.
Sending you light and love,
Author: Nicole Moore
Nicole Moore is a love coach who helps, powerful, influential women find their ideal partner. Using her signature Love Works Method, she’s helped thousands of women find lasting love fast.
Nicole started her company while she was in a relationship she thought would lead to marriage. Instead it resulted in emotional abuse and her boyfriend cheating on her. Suddenly single as a life coach, Nicole had to start following her own advice and take every tip she’d ever taught a client – and it worked. She found her dream man exactly one year after following her program and is now happily married with a beautiful son living in Encinitas, CA.
Nicole has three life coaching certifications, including certification from New York University. She’s been featured in Money Magazine, Forbes, and Greatist.com.