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So…you thought he was the one and that you’d finally found the perfect man for you and you’d never be single again.
BUT…it didn’t quite work out.
Your dreams were dashed. Your heart is broken.
And, worse than that, you can’t move on.
Let me tell you, I’ve certainly been there. For 4 years, I was hung up on an ex believing I could never find anyone better.
It’s not the truth though. I’m going to show you how to move on after breaking up with someone who you thought was the one.
So, here’s tip #1 to get over your ex who you thought was the one. It’s a mindset shift.
Your love vision did NOT die with this relationship and it’s crucial to remember that.
So often when we break up with someone who we thought was the ONE we decide that our capability to fulfill our love vision had gone away with the end of that relationship.
It’s like we believe that if that person couldn’t be it then no one can be it. We feel as though we should give up because no one else will be better.
But your love vision hasn’t died…it’s just that it doesn’t end with your ex.
So a mindset shift to, my ex wasn’t the true person to fulfill my love vision.
But that person is coming. That person will help you get over the trap of thinking that your chances of lasting love are gone because your ex is.
Focus on the things that weren’t right.
Now, focusing on the negatives is generally something I discourage EXCEPT when you are trying to get over someone.
The reason a breakup with someone we thought was the one hurts so much is because our mind screams at us “you’ll never meet anyone better.”
This puts us into scarcity mode and makes us feel like we’ll never get what we want again.
And, the problem with a breakup like this is that when you’re dating after the breakup, it feels like it sucks or it’s hard or disappointing.
Your mind goes to nice memories with your ex and tells you, “See, being with him felt way better than this.”
So, think about the fights.
Think about the things that you didn’t like about your ex.
Make a mental stack of all of the negative moments in the relationship until you start to feel less pulled to the idea that you can’t find better.
Resist the temptation to try and avoid the bad feelings that might be coming with dating after the breakup by jumping into a mental fantasy of how good it felt with your ex.
The truth is, if it really felt that good, all of the time, you’d probably still be together.
Which brings me to tip #3
Envision the even better.
Something I say to my clients all the time is: don’t make the mistake of thinking that the best you’ve had thus far is the best that’s available
The truth is, if there was a breakup then it’s for a reason and one of the best things you can do to get over the idea that your ex was the one is to start to mentally envision and feel what it would be like to be with someone who had all of the great qualities of your ex PLUS the qualities you felt were lacking in them.
At first your mind will try and convince you that you could never meet someone this good but the more you take time to feel how it would feel to be with someone even better, the more real and achievable that possibility will seem.
It all starts with your vision, which remember, did not die with the ending of this relationship
And that brings me to the last tip. Tip #4
Heal your heart
After a breakup, one of the best things you can do is ask yourself “what needs to shift in me right now to never repeat this pain again?”
A breakup is always a chance to look at what painful love patterns we are still carrying from the past
Now, the pain from this relationship did not start with him, it’s actually a mirror and reflection of deeper emotions that you already had within you. These most likely come from childhood.
So, after the breakup, ask yourself – “What within me attracted this situation to me?”
How does what I am feeling now mirror how I felt about love as a child?
Looking within to heal the inner causes of your side of the street of the painful dynamics can be the best thing to make sure you DO attract the one next time.
I know this for certain because it’s what I had to do to go from so much pain in my dating life to finding my amazing husband.
So, just know that great love is still possible for you even now and you deserve it.
Now, if you want to tell how ready you currently are to find your true one, I’ve got a quick and easy quiz for you.
My love alignment quiz, which takes 2 minutes, and will clearly reveal to you, what if anything, you want to shift within to make yourself truly ready for the one who won’t hurt you but who’ll only love you for the rest of your life.
So, click >>>HERE<<< to grab the quiz because your true one is waiting for you to find him.
Author: Nicole Moore
Nicole Moore is a love coach who helps, powerful, influential women find their ideal partner. Using her signature Love Works Method, she’s helped thousands of women find lasting love fast.
Nicole started her company while she was in a relationship she thought would lead to marriage. Instead it resulted in emotional abuse and her boyfriend cheating on her. Suddenly single as a life coach, Nicole had to start following her own advice and take every tip she’d ever taught a client – and it worked. She found her dream man exactly one year after following her program and is now happily married with a beautiful son living in Encinitas, CA.
Nicole has three life coaching certifications, including certification from New York University. She’s been featured in Money Magazine, Forbes, and Greatist.com.