If you’ve been looking at other women thinking
“WHYYYYY does she have great love and I don’t?”,
I’ve got the answer for you today.

I originally posted this on facebook and want to share this fierce, tough love with you.
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If someone has something that you want, they aren’t “lucky”
or special or better than you

BUT they probably have a better mindset than you in that specific area,
if you don’t have it yet.

An example: women tell me every day that they want what I have or that I inspire them.

They want the multiple six figure (working on getting it to 7 as we speak!) coaching business.

They want the amazing, adoring, committed man and a great relationship.

But, then then make up a story that the reason they don’t have it yet
is because there’s something wrong with them.

There’s nothing wrong with you!
And I’m not more special than you.

I just really really really worked for it. Specifically, on my mindset.

What you might not know is just how much I struggled in my coaching business in the beginning.

My self doubt was paralyzing.
I couldn’t even give a free call to my small 250 person list at the time
without having a major freak out about it for a week.

I almost quit my business three times because I was so scared
of not being liked and not being good enough.

I struggled tremendously in my love life and even endured emotional abuse
and horrific mental manipulation from a former boyfriend.

I used to not be able to sleep at night sometimes if I didn’t get a text back
from a guy that I liked…it was that crazy town in my mind.

At the height of my suffering and turmoil in my mid 20s,
I honestly used to walk around thinking “maybe I already died and this is hell,
because it just feels so painful and I hate myself so much”.

So what got me out of that and to where I am now?

1) faith and trusting my desires
2) investing in getting the support I needed
3) working on my MINDSET every single day
4) not quitting at disappointment or pain, but using every single situation to take me higher.
1) through all of the struggle, I always always always connected to the part of me that was stronger than the fear…faith.
I knew, deep deep down that I was meant to be successful and to have amazing love and when everything felt like it was failing, I came back to my truth.

2) I got help. I knew that left to my own devices, my fear was too strong. So, I hired mentors and did more personal development courses than I can count.
In total, I’ve now invested more than $200,000 in my personal development (not an exaggeration)
and it has all been worth it in some way.
3) I was so incredibly fierce about working on my mindset because I saw that the people who had what I wanted just thought better than me.
My thoughts were a mess. So so fear based. Ego was running the show.
Negativity saturated my mind. I had to stop it.
So, I worked worked worked on my mindset. Sometimes for up to four hours a day. 
I hired coaches with great mindsets and listened to their calls over and over again.
I’ve studied a course in miracles pretty much daily for the past 6 years.
I knew that to truly change my life, I had to change my mind.
4) I didn’t stop. I faced so much disappointment and pain along the way but I made a commitment to myself that carried me through and it was “no matter what Nicole, you DO NOT get to close”
No matter if your heart got hurt by this guy, you don’t get to close.
No matter if your launch failed, you do not get to close.
I knew that closing my heart to pain to “protect myself” was actually guaranteeing failure and a closed life, so I forced myself to open open open to the pain from every disappointment and see the GOLD in it.
I chose to really believe that every experience was HOW the universe was bringing me my desires, not evidence that I wouldn’t get them.
I developed the skill of faith despite negative outside circumstances.
So, the next time you see someone who has what you want so badly,
don’t make yourself wrong for not having it.

BUT, check in with your MINDSET around their area.
Does your mindset in the area that you say you want actually support you getting that thing or,
is it pointed toward the negative?

Do you actually have faith that you can get that thing you want
or are you letting your mind waver into doubt?

Do you let your belief in what’s possible be completely swayed by outside circumstances?
People who have what you want got their mindset stronger than that.

You can have anything you want as long as you are willing
to grow your mindset and your being to the place where you can actually receive it.

You can grow yourself into the person who can mentally and emotionally
hold that level of result in your life.

So, if you want love, don’t pray to the universe to send you a soul mate.

Ask the universe to grow grow you into the person who can hold great love
and be willing to shift anything in your mindset and emotions that you need to to be aligned.
You will get there WAY quicker praying for the growth, not the result. I promise.

Same thing with business

No one is more special than anyone else. You can have what you want.

But, you have to be willing to grow to get there.

I hope this message inspires you!

xo,
Nicole