“I love being so close to you and looking into your eyes,
because I can feel your essence,” he said to me.
“What does it feel like?,” I asked him
“It feels like I’m being wrapped in the most comfy blanket.
It feels so nourishing.
It’s like tasting the sweetest thing.
It’s warm, like the sun shining on your face.”
That’s what my fiancé said to me when our arms were wrapped around each other.
All I was doing was looking into his eyes,
but he could FEEL me.
And, because of what he feels in me,
he will do anything for me.
What he feels in me is my ESSENCE.
What is essence?
The dictionary defines essence as:
the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something.
I define essence as your SPIRIT,
the truth about you, your core, the part of you that is eternal.
The realest and most tangible qualities that make you YOU.
Do you ever notice that a lot of dating coaches give you tactics to take to meet your man?
They focus on actions as if there really is a specific text you can send,
a certain color you can wear,
or a certain thing you can DO to make a man fall for you?
And, did you ever notice that even though you use those tactics, they mostly don’t work?
The reason is because action action action doesn’t work
to draw in the RIGHT man for you,
if you aren’t living from your ESSENCE (your spirit).
Living from your ESSENCE makes you a super-strong
super-shiny magnet for the RIGHT man.
He sees you and immediately FEELS that you are right for him.
Trust me on this.
My man said that he knew even from our texting on Tinder
that we would be a great match.
(because I laced my profile with my ESSENCE words)
And, he also says that he fell in love with me on the first date.
You see, love at first sight and having a man be committed to you
pretty much from the get-go, isn’t possible
when you use surface-level tactics
(that usually border on manipulation of men.)
That level of devotion from a man is only possible,
when you’ve first done the work to connect you with your essence.
Here is a Five Minute Exercise that you can do
to get you connected with your Essence:
Sit comfortably with a journal nearby and pray/meditate on the prompts below:
- Please connect me with my essence.
- Please show me what is blocking me from living my essence.
- What do I have to let go of to live my essence?
- What practical steps can I take now to feel my essence daily?
When you start living from your essence,
and actually letting it show in your interactions with men,
you attract in the man who is the exact right match for you.
The man who will love your BEING
so much so that he will do anything for you and always want to be with you.
Here’s the thing though,
and the reason why most women choose NOT to live from their essence
and instead waste their time scouring the internet for countless dating tactics
designed to pretty much manipulate non-committal men into a relationship….
Living from your Essence in today’s world is hard.
It takes real bravery to let the realest, truest part of you out,
for all the world to see (and potentially criticize or reject).
But, it’s worth it.
I have my amazing man today because I am brave enough
to let the REAL me show.
I didn’t let all of my childhood pain
plus the years and years of truly suffering in my love life
harden my heart
put a shell around me
and make me so afraid of getting hurt again,
and not being loved,
that I never revealed my true, soft, vulnerable self to a man.
I chose to feel all of the pain,
all of the fear
and LOVE ANYWAY.
I chose to not let my beautiful essence (spirit)
be damaged by all of the pain, betrayal and heartache in my life,
but instead to make a bold decision
that I would HONOR and LIVE from my essence
no matter what.
And, from all of the steps that I’ve shared with you over the years
about how to attract the right man for you,
I honestly believe that this is the most important one.
Your essence is the most beautiful and attractive thing about you.
It’s what makes a man want to devote his entire life to you.
Living from your essence is not an easy choice.
But it’s a necessary one if you want true love.
It’s a brave choice.
And, true love favors the BOLD.
xo,
Nicole
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