My fiancé and I just celebrated our one year anniversary this week
and I was sitting here amazed at just how much can change in one year. 

He took me to a super fancy 4-course French Dinner 
at the Grand Del Mar here in San Diego…he said “I wanted to take you someplace opulent”
The man knows me! 🙂 

What I thought would be most helpful for YOU 
is for me to share the MINDSET SHIFTS
that I truly believe got me to the place
where I could attract in such an amazing, devoted man 
AND keep him and create epic love with him. 

One more thing….Mike said to me at dinner 
“Nicole, I will be here for you always.  I will be here for you as long as you want me to.”

And honestly in that moment I thought of YOU, I thought of my community 
and how almost every woman that I’ve ever talked to about her love life says she wants the same thing:
safety, security, commitment, someone who she adores and who treats her like a Queen.

I have that, and here’s the mindset shifts that helped me get there:

Mindset Shift #1 –  I know, deep in my bones, that I am MEANT for great love.  I believe in my love dream, even when I can’t see any physical evidence of it manifesting.  I trust in my love desire ABOVE ALL and I refuse to doubt that it will happen.

In order to manifest anything on the physical level, you first have to BELIEVE that it’s possible, despite evidence.  So, I practiced amping up my love belief every single day until I got to a place of 100% faith. 
I seriously knew that there was NO WAY I would not have great love. And, I kept the faith no matter what. 

By the way, for anyone who has experienced a lot of trauma or negative dating experience, this step is CRUCIAL. 
The thing is, your past really has no power to determine your love future until you let it. 
I amped up my love belief right after leaving a relationship that had turned abusive. 
I didn’t let that relationship destroy me or my faith in my love dreams 
I let that pain motivate me and fire me up to build my faith in love even stronger. 

Mindset Shift #2 –  I trust that every single dating experience, even the “negative” ones are bringing me to my higher good. I know that every experience is here to make me ready to BE the woman who can receive my high-level man

I figured out a way to make dating not suck.  A way to stop being continually disappointed with my dating experience and how to not get bitter, closed and shut down.
I now call this strategy “dating for growth” and my clients use it to go from being single for 10 years to with their man in 6 months.

The bottom line is, it’s all about perspective. 
You can choose to play the victim and believe that you’re just a sad, sorry case and that love doesn’t work out for you OR you can choose to find the gold, the silver lining and the GIFT in every single dating experience. 

I most definitely faced pain, heartache, loss and rejection from men on the way to my Man BUT I chose to see each experience not as unnecessary pain or a sign that I should quit dating, but as necessary GROWTH that was helping me skill up in dating, heal my triggers and ultimately shape me into the woman I needed to be to receive my man.

Mindset Shift #3 –  I’m an espresso, NOT a caramel latte!

This one was huge for me. What I was previously doing was mistakenly thinking that if someone didn’t like me, that it was because I was somehow deficient, or too much.

For example, if I talked to much about spirituality on a date and then the guy didn’t call me back, I would assume that I had made a mistake in showing that part of me or that maybe that part wasn’t attractive to men.

But then one day I simply said STOP.
And instead of focusing on my perceived flaws or how I wasn’t up to standard for every single person that I met,  I started focusing on what I liked about myself and what I truly valued in myself.

I realized I’m deep, I’m spiritual, I’m intense AND I like those qualities in myself.
I’m not the girl that’s good at small talk or who’s just super bubbly and I probably never will be.

I said out loud I’m an espresso, damnit!!  I’m NOT a caramel latte and that’s totally Ok.

And guess what happened?  When I started to OWN me, I attracted in men who actually loved my qualities.

My man is also spiritual, deep and intense and we get along so well…I would have never found him if I was still trying to play the game of diluting or changing my personality to get every single man to like me. 

Mindset Shift #4 –  I am the prize.  Any man would be lucky to be with me. I am the best catch on the market

Self-Confidence. It really is the #1 thing men say they want in a woman, yet so many women don’t haven’t.
I know that I didn’t for years.

But I worked on my confidence like it was a full time job, and eventually I got there.

One exercise that I did that really helped, is I wrote a list of 30 reasons why I’m a great catch and I read that every single day until it sank it. 

The bottom line is, by the time I met my Man I TRULY felt like I was the prize. That got me out of desperate, clingy energy so I could lean back, be a Queen and let him show up for me.

Because I was so confident in myself from day 1, he was so confident that I was the best catch and even asked me to be exclusive after 3 dates.

And, I said no! I made him wait a month because I was so confident in myself that I ONLY wanted to be with a man who was truly great for me…luckily he showed me in that month that he was truly a great man, and we’ve been happy together ever since.

I hope that these mindset shifts are helpful for you.

What I want you to know is that it does get better.

Great love is in your future.

You just have to believe it.
Claim it.
And then take steps every single day to get there.

It can happen in less time than you think.

xo,
Nicole